MS

Marion Selzer

My Story I've always loved to eat myself. Sweets, chocolate, Nutella sandwiches and pasta were at the very top of my list. This meant that I was always carrying around a few extra pounds ever since I can remember. I never really found this to be tragic. It was only when I ran into in a phase in ...show more My Story
I've always loved to eat myself. Sweets, chocolate, Nutella sandwiches and pasta were at the very top of my list. This meant that I was always carrying around a few extra pounds ever since I can remember. I never really found this to be tragic.

It was only when I ran into in a phase in which I always took in larger and larger amounts of food at about 19 that the fear of gaining more weight came up. I quickly learned to vomit after eating and was able to at least prevent the risk of excessive weight gain. As such, I could keep my behavior, which I was ashamed of, secret. I bought the large amounts of foods that I used up in different stores so that nobody would notice. Such phases alternated with phases of strict restrictions. I forbade myself all the things that I thought were unhealthy and bad, but then I would lose my joy of life and admit defeat by giving in to my food cravings before long.

For a long time, I did not understand what the real reasons for my behavior were and each attempt of breaking this cycle failed. I suffered a lot from the idea of having just too little discipline and willpower and knew no way out.

One day, I got the courage to confide in my then best friend and my former boyfriend. But unfortunately this cry for help backfired. While my boyfriend meet me with too much indifference, my girlfriend confronted me with an excess of panic so that I felt that neither of them really understood me and assured them that I had my behavior under control a short time later. I do not blame the two, no, on the contrary. I now understand that they must have felt overwhelmed by my message at that time and each handled the situation in his or her own way. I decided to keep my problem to myself in any case and to the search for solutions myself.

The study of numerous readings, a new, understanding boyfriend who supported me enormously through his sensitive and sympathetic manner, as wshow less

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